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Tales of a lone girl
This story is about Ku. Ku is Kumizu's genderbent self. She is a kind girl.
Ku showed Ken pure kindness and slowly but surely feel for him.. But things down the line on her first love won't end well.
Ken had feelings for Ku but he is with Subrina. Ku knew he was with Subrina yet she chose to be with him anyway. She loved him truly and he told her the same yet as the time pass Subrina found out that Ken wanted to be with Ku and she wasn't to happy about it. Problems then started right there... Ken then told the girls that who ever could win his heart would be with him.. Subrina gave up at that every moment. Ken talked to her restoring her faith while Ku on the other hand sat there deep down knowing she couldn't have his heart so told him these words.
I do not wish to compete against my friend for your heart. Who ever you choose I will accept the answer with pride as any member of the Shimizu family would
She said those word with pride but later when Ken chose Subrina. Ku realized that accepting the answer was harder then she thought... So to kill the pain and misery in her heart she wanted to run away.. But the others wouldn't allow her to go they begged and talked her into staying. Later she tried to erase everyone's memories of her but that back fired as well.. So she stayed with her pain growing stronger but she only hid it from everyone. She said a little of her feelings for him but again it wasn't 100% So time pasted and Subrina found out that Ken loved both her and Ku and Subrina wasn't too pleased to here that. By this time Ku's stress and hurting heart has made her lose he voice most likely permanently. She can only write and type. Ken had a touching moment with Subrina and they were together for good. Ku knew this and just couldn't take it anymore she threw her phone out so no one could call her or text her and she resigned from the academy planing on never coming back. Su knew it was Ken's fault so he wanted to shoot Ken in the knee-caps but Emma wouldn't allow it end result Su and Emma have a fight. Ku was making herself at home at her company and Ken came some words were said and written ending with Ken wanting to leave the academy and taking Subrina with him. Su was sick of everything.. so he fixed it by forcing them to talk. Ken and Ku spoke and kinda made up. Ken tried to get Ku to come back to the academy but Ku's mind and heart was set on her answer and didn't wish to go back.
Well I think you'd all will be reading this to wonder how does Ku feel about Ken and here is a paper from her journal telling her feelings for Ken and how she felt after.
Felt for Ken;
He is sweet and kind, He is pretty cute too, But I shouldn't fall for him I mean he's with Subrina... but I really do like him... Ugh what am I going to do?!
After feelings
I was a fool.. He toyed with my heart how could he do that do me?! I was so stupid my first kiss and my first love went to him and he just broke my heart into a million pieces. I can't talk and my doctor said I may never talk or sing again.. I can talk be only lowly but I'm gonna save what ever voice I have left for a special time... Well I've left the academy and I never wish to go back my heart still burns and I guess destiny has written in stone that I was never meant to love and get loved in return permanently. Fate is a cruel mistress.
That is her tale of love and loneliness.
Correctly Ku can not talk and she has heart problems
This story is about Ku. Ku is Kumizu's genderbent self. She is a kind girl.
Ku showed Ken pure kindness and slowly but surely feel for him.. But things down the line on her first love won't end well.
Ken had feelings for Ku but he is with Subrina. Ku knew he was with Subrina yet she chose to be with him anyway. She loved him truly and he told her the same yet as the time pass Subrina found out that Ken wanted to be with Ku and she wasn't to happy about it. Problems then started right there... Ken then told the girls that who ever could win his heart would be with him.. Subrina gave up at that every moment. Ken talked to her restoring her faith while Ku on the other hand sat there deep down knowing she couldn't have his heart so told him these words.
I do not wish to compete against my friend for your heart. Who ever you choose I will accept the answer with pride as any member of the Shimizu family would
She said those word with pride but later when Ken chose Subrina. Ku realized that accepting the answer was harder then she thought... So to kill the pain and misery in her heart she wanted to run away.. But the others wouldn't allow her to go they begged and talked her into staying. Later she tried to erase everyone's memories of her but that back fired as well.. So she stayed with her pain growing stronger but she only hid it from everyone. She said a little of her feelings for him but again it wasn't 100% So time pasted and Subrina found out that Ken loved both her and Ku and Subrina wasn't too pleased to here that. By this time Ku's stress and hurting heart has made her lose he voice most likely permanently. She can only write and type. Ken had a touching moment with Subrina and they were together for good. Ku knew this and just couldn't take it anymore she threw her phone out so no one could call her or text her and she resigned from the academy planing on never coming back. Su knew it was Ken's fault so he wanted to shoot Ken in the knee-caps but Emma wouldn't allow it end result Su and Emma have a fight. Ku was making herself at home at her company and Ken came some words were said and written ending with Ken wanting to leave the academy and taking Subrina with him. Su was sick of everything.. so he fixed it by forcing them to talk. Ken and Ku spoke and kinda made up. Ken tried to get Ku to come back to the academy but Ku's mind and heart was set on her answer and didn't wish to go back.
Well I think you'd all will be reading this to wonder how does Ku feel about Ken and here is a paper from her journal telling her feelings for Ken and how she felt after.
Felt for Ken;
He is sweet and kind, He is pretty cute too, But I shouldn't fall for him I mean he's with Subrina... but I really do like him... Ugh what am I going to do?!
After feelings
I was a fool.. He toyed with my heart how could he do that do me?! I was so stupid my first kiss and my first love went to him and he just broke my heart into a million pieces. I can't talk and my doctor said I may never talk or sing again.. I can talk be only lowly but I'm gonna save what ever voice I have left for a special time... Well I've left the academy and I never wish to go back my heart still burns and I guess destiny has written in stone that I was never meant to love and get loved in return permanently. Fate is a cruel mistress.
That is her tale of love and loneliness.
Correctly Ku can not talk and she has heart problems
Read the begging of the story
Ku and Su (c)
Ken (c)
Subrina (c)
Ku and Su (c)
Ken (c)
Subrina (c)
Comments72
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Overall
Vision Originality Technique ImpactThis story was full of a lot of emotions and definitely a lot of complicated relationships. It is elements like these that make for interesting reads which you have certainly provided. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/l/l…" width="26" height="17" alt="
" title="Love"/> Because you have requested a critique, I was going to point out a few grammatical errors that do not normally take away from a piece... however; when they are found rampantly throughout a story, they certainly need to be corrected.
For instance...
<img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="10" height="10" alt="
" title="Bullet; Red"/> You've misspelled several words - in most instances, it appears that spell-check simply didn't catch them. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="19" height="19" alt="
" title="Shrug"/> For example: In the first paragraph you wrote, "fell" where you obviously mean "feel". <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="10" height="10" alt="
" title="Bullet; Red"/> There's a few punctuation errors. For example: In the first quote where Ku is revealing her feelings to Ken, you do not have a period at the end of the quote. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="10" height="10" alt="
" title="Bullet; Red"/> Another punctuation example, in this sentence: "She said those word with pride but later when Ken chose Subrina. Ku realized that accepting the answer was harder then she thought... So to kill the pain and misery in her heart she wanted to run away."
You are in desperate need of a comma between the first and second sentence. That way it would read:
"She said those words with pride, but later when Ken chose Subrina Ku realized that accepting the answer was harder then she thought. To kill the pain and misery in her heart she wanted to run away.
It was an interesting story in all, sweetie! And props to you and the others for your wonderful and rich characters. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/t/t…" width="40" height="18" alt="
" title="Tight Hug"/> <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/h/h…" width="15" height="13" alt="
" title="Heart"/> *OfOneSoul